How much of what you do, think and feel truly comes from yourself? No one lives entirely separate from others. From childhood, we are influenced by the people and the environment around us. Often this happens without us being aware of it. The way we were raised, our parents’ expectations, the dynamics within our family, friendships, work, culture and the environment we live in: it can all play a part in the choices we make and the way we see ourselves. Perhaps you recognise that you adapt easily to what others need. Or that you find it hard to set boundaries. Perhaps you feel responsible for the wellbeing of others, even when it comes at your own expense. Or you wonder: What is actually mine? And what am I carrying because that is how I learned it?
That is why, in my coaching, we look not only at you as an individual, but also at the various relationships and influences that are part of your life. Think of your:
What influence do these people and circumstances have on you? What helps you? What perhaps keeps asking something of you, again and again? And where do you adapt, when you would actually want something else?
How do you stay connected to the people you love, without losing yourself in the process? That is a question many people know. For women who have moved to another country, all of this can become even more palpable.
You move to another country and begin a new chapter. Your life changes. You change with it. But the people back home remain part of your life.
And meanwhile, something in you can change. You discover new sides of yourself. You start to look differently at what matters to you. You make different choices. Perhaps you want more space, more freedom or more distance than before.
But how much distance is right?
Where is your boundary?
What does loyalty mean to you?
When does connection feel good, and when do you lose yourself in it?
Can you love someone without having to meet every expectation?
That is what I call the umbilical cord dilemma: staying connected to where you come from, while at the same time needing space to live your own life. There is no answer that is the same for everyone. Together we explore what feels right for you. Not: how should it be? But: what do you want? What do you need? And how can you stay connected to others without losing the connection with yourself?
